The Glorification of Apathy (Issue #68)
In our fight against toxic work culture, is it possible we overcorrected?
Hi friends!
Please journey with me, for a moment, back to 2015.
You’re in bed, deep in a REM sleep cycle, when your work alarm blares. You hit snooze, only to be awoken minutes later. You repeat this cycle until you have no choice but to leave your bed and silence the alarm once and for all. Grabbing your iPhone from the nightstand, you turn on Fight Song by Rachel Platten before setting the device next to your uncracked copy of Lean In (a gift from your mom). In a rush, you shove your feet into your Payless work shoes and mentally calculate the time it would take to run your Keurig and drink it before heading into the office for the day. You don't want to be late. Sure, you’re an office grunt, but this job is your ticket to the kinds of relationships you need to climb the ladder and land your dream job – Buzzfeed. Fuck it — you're taking the coffee to go, praying your cap-less, big-handled, ceramic mug will survive the trip.
Outside, you run to your bus stop, and the coffee sloshes, soaking the sleeve of your cardigan. Thank God it’s black!! A half a block before your stop, your bus zips by. Shit, guess you’ll have to use what little cellular data is included in your plan to click through emails during your commute. You open your inbox to discover a trove of 6 a.m. messages from your boss. It’s gonna be a long day. 🙃
You slip into the office just as the clock strikes 8:13 a.m. Late again. You walk of shame past your boss's office and settle in at your cubicle. Sinking into your chair, you stare at your coffee mug. The words “Girl Boss” stare back at you, mocking you with their colorful, playful font.
But worry not, dear reader! The Girl Boss of 2015 can’t hurt you! Why? ‘Cause she’s dead!
Through 2024-tinted glasses, the mid-2010s look like some kind of fever dream. And while so much has changed, it might be the transformation of the working world that’s surprised me most — a story that starts with the demise of the Girlboss.
By the late-2010’s, workers were sick of grinding and having little to show for it. And in 2021, an American Psychological Association survey of 1,500 U.S. workers painted the picture of a workforce on edge:
As in 2020, American workers across the board saw heightened rates of burnout in 2021, 79% of employees had experienced work-related stress in the month before the survey. Nearly 3 in 5 employees reported negative impacts of work-related stress, including lack of interest, motivation, or energy (26%) and lack of effort at work (19%). Meanwhile, 36% reported cognitive weariness, 32% reported emotional exhaustion, and an astounding 44% reported physical fatigue—a 38% increase since 2019.
To make matters worse, in a 2021 Gallup poll, 1 in 6 U.S. workers reported being stuck in a job they wanted to leave but couldn’t for fear of losing their health benefits.
The writing is on the wall: after a decade of political upheaval and a global pandemic, we were perhaps overdue for a work-life reckoning. The people are tired, and many are pushing back.
It’s easy to notice this shift on social media. Accounts like the Nap Ministry have re-centered rest as a critical act of liberation and political resistance (especially and primarily for Black folks and other people of color). Creators like Roxy Couse demonstrate what it looks like to set boundaries with your employers and cultivate better work-life balance. #Girlboss no longer rules the internet, and its replacement is more critical of the workplace than ever before.
The only problem? As is true with most things on the internet, I fear we may have overcorrected.
Alongside more helpful content is evidence of a culture that is not just tired of exploitative work but tired of all work. Frequently, I see takes like “all employers are exploitative” or “I just want a job where I can clock in and clock out.” Or take this trend, wherein creators lip-synch to audio of someone dramatically saying, “Darling, I have told you several times before I have no dream job; I do not dream of labor.” In these videos, it seems the preferred substitute for labor is consumption, as creators pose in lavish dresses, run through mansions, sip espresso on vacation in France, and return from massive shopping sprees. But that lifestyle requires funding, so a genre of videos where women long to be trophy wives and tradwives is born. And yes, I get it – many of these videos are jokes, and intended to be taken as such, but I gotta be honest, the lack of nuance still irks me.
As Jacobin so brilliantly observed, the “I do not dream of labor” trend puts individualism and wealth on a pedestal, and fails to center the actual work and collective action that would be required to improve workplace conditions en masse. Similarly, longing to be a tradwife skips over its ultra-conservative origin and praises a lifestyle that still requires tons (albeit largely unpaid) labor. And then I wonder – is any of this truly fulfilling?
Last summer, I wrote about a similar trend – “the lazy girl job.” And listen, I understand the appeal of an easy job (especially in reaction to an exploitative work culture), but I fear the push towards a life completely devoid of meaningful work could leave us drained in a brand new way. Everywhere, people are exclusively glorifying indulgent relaxation and villainizing productivity, and I think we forget humans *like* to do things. We *like* to create, to be in community with one another, and to (frankly) work toward the things we care about. In fact, it doesn't actually feel that good to not do things all the time.
And as this creator pointed out, even “solutions” to avoiding work still require…work:
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A few weeks ago, I read The Mainstreaming of Loserdom. In it,
takes a hard look at online attitudes that seem to glorify self-isolating, staying home, bed rotting, and not doing much of anything. And all of this is unfolding alongside a loneliness epidemic, one where 1 in 3 Americans reported feeling lonely every week. tackles the topic with such nuance and care, so I highly recommend you read it in full, but for me, this quote is a standout:“I’ve been on the internet for twenty years: I’ve been on fanfiction.net, I’ve been on Livejournal, I’ve been on Tumblr. I was surrounded by people who spent time alone, but they were creating. They were writing, they were generating, they were knitting and sewing and painting and dreaming. The specific activity I’m talking about is a lack of any of this. The people screaming from their rooftops about how they don’t go anywhere and don’t have any friends aren’t the same people writing 70,000 words of Harry/Draco smut, I’m sorry! I know my people, and this feels different. It feels more sinister. Posting fanfiction online is a bid for community. Scrolling on your phone is not.”
And while the piece wasn’t explicitly talking about work in the traditional sense, it all feels very connected. So, I tapped out my own comment:
And this comment? It resonated, and quickly became one of the most liked things I’ve ever posted on Substack. In fact, I still get notifications almost a month later – new people agreeing with the idea that maybe, just maybe, work is something worth doing.
Ultimately, I think what we do (or don’t do) really makes us who we are. It’s easy to get caught in cycles of consumption, and this often does little more than keep us paralyzed, uninspired, and stagnant. Now, am I excited that the #GirlBoss fantasies are behind us? Absolutely. But still, as we push back against work as the end-all-be-all of a fulfilling life, I think it’d serve us to examine what we really want from work. And I don’t just mean that in the material sense (obviously, we all want our basic needs met). What kind of world do we want to live in, and what’s needed to create it? How do we see ourselves as part of something worth working towards? Obviously, none of these answers are small, simple, or easy, which is probably why they aren’t trending on TikTok. I just think we deserve so much more than a seemingly simple escape route from the exploitative grind. We all deserve a life that’s fulfilling, connected, creative, and – you guessed it – somehow made better by the work we value, honor, and choose to do.
A round-up of things to watch, read, and listen to as you head into the weekend.
Deadline: ‘Legally Blonde’ Spinoff Series In Works At Amazon From Reese Witherspoon’s Hello Sunshine, Josh Schwartz & Stephanie Savage by Nellie Andreeva
As a huge fan of the movie, I’m really hoping this television spin-off doesn’t fall through!! I know the market is saturated with spin-offs, but I think Legally Blonde would lend itself really well to that format, and I’m optimistic it would *actually* be good :)
Apple TV - Drops of God
I’m really excited to check this out! The story follows Camille, whose father passes away at the show's start. He leaves behind an immense wine collection, and Camille can only claim the inheritance if she can win in a wine-tasting competition against her father’s star pupil, young oenologist Issei Tomine. The trailer gives me intriguing thriller vibes, and I’m excited to check it out!
Substack: Issue #62: How to be business partners with your best friend in
by andThis is a great piece profiling a number of best friends who successfully run businesses together! Their stories resonated for me because my best friend, Olivia, has worked for me for the past four years and has had a hand in virtually all of my business endeavors. It’s obviously a unique situation, and I often get asked what it’s like to navigate a working relationship with someone who is also like family. However, the biggest difference between the stories in
and my situation is the people profiled weren’t as close when they first started working together. While me and my bestie have been close for over a decade, it’s still such a cool experience to hear others’ perspectives and backstories on the bestie/work-bestie crossover!!
Things to try + share in the group chat.
Note: Links preceded by an asterisk (*) are affiliate links that allow me to collect a small commission when you purchase something I’ve recommended. That said, I can promise I’ll only ever share items I love. Buying through these links is one way to support me and my small biz. ❤️
Andrew and I have a lot of weeding that needs to get done this summer, so I’ve been on the hunt for a few tools to make all of it easier. This TikTok convinced me to try *Grandpa’s Weeder, which pulls up the weeds at the root, and this TikTok convinced me to try *the Hoola Ho, which is great for getting big patches of weeds in just a few swipes.
Andrew and I saw *this camping thermos on Shark Tank, and quickly bought it for one of our friends’ birthdays! The thermos is fully convertible and can make everything from cold brew and tea to cocktails and infused water!! It’s such a cool gadget, and it’s lightweight and small enough for everything from glamping to your more rugged camping adventure.
This creamy gnocchi soup with Italian sausage by @britacooks looks simple and is part of a series called “soups that don’t suck,” so I trust it to be good and can’t wait to try it!
Before you go, make sure to check out the P.S. that came out last Monday! These issues come out monthly, including highlights, recommendations, and fun tips I gathered throughout the previous month.
This past Monday, I shared August’s recap, which included:
🍽 Tales From My Adventures in Hosting
🛍 Surprisingly Useful Products I *Highly* Recommend
📚 Worth the Read
🎧 Worth the Listen
📺 Worth the Watch
👩🏾🍳 What to Cook this Week
🎥 Reel Roundup
Check it out here.
Have a great weekend!
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