Reporting Live from My Curly Hair Journey (Issue #31)

This week’s theme is self-discovery – how lessons learned help us develop a deeper relationship to ourselves <3

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Hi friends!

Growing up, I always wore my hair straight. It was the early-2000’s, and media representations of Black women who rocked their natural hair were few and far between. I remember being in eighth grade when Obama was elected president, and Michelle Obama quickly became an icon for me and other Black women around the world. I really viewed her as something to strive towards, and her always-straight hair was part of that package. 

And with a head of super curly, extremely thick hair, I wasn’t ever quite able to achieve my desired look all on my own, so I often felt reliant on a salon visit or help from my parents to secure a hair day I felt good about. It was a dynamic that had a big impact on my self-identity growing up.

When I finally got to college, I embarked on a really intentional journey to heal my relationship with my hair and finally embrace my natural curls. Here I was, in my early 20’s with heat-damaged hair and no idea where to start. It was a process that took years, and lots of experimentation. And while I did eventually figure it out, there was always a part of me that wished I would’ve figured it out sooner. I wondered what my middle and high school development of personal expression would have been like if I had embraced my natural hair as a teen.

These days, the representation of women with curl patterns like mine is waaaay more common. Even Michelle Obama, now free from many of the pressures of the white house, is frequently seen with braids and curly up-dos. And while we definitely still have a long way to go (texturism and colorism are, unfortunately, still everywhere), it does heal parts of my inner child every time I see a young Black woman on my TikTok feed embracing her curly hair and sharing tips to help others do the same. <3

And while my hair journey will always be ongoing, the newest chapter led me to a Zoom room where I followed the instructions of a hairstylist to cut my own hair! It was a Virtual Curly Cut appointment from The Daze Studio, which I’d learned about from an influencer I really love following.

mzbiancarenee

A post shared by @mzbiancarenee

I loved the results I saw online, and I thought it would be a really cool way to reclaim my agency when it came to my hair. So there I was, standing in my living room with a pair of hair scissors, letting my curls fall to the floor after each snip. It was a full-circle moment for me. The girl who couldn’t straighten her own hair now had full agency over her self-expression.

So, for today’s issue, I’m sharing recommendations all centered around self-discovery. Enjoy!

A round-up of things to watch, read, and listen to as you head into the weekend.

I know how frustrating paywalls are! When possible, I’ll try to offer gift links through my subscriptions to support access to high-quality journalism.

• New Yorker: Listening to Taylor Swift in Prison by Joe Garcia

  • This is a beautiful piece about Joe Garcia’s time in prison and the ways Taylor Swift and her music helped to mark the passing of time while incarcerated. A longer read that I highly recommend you check out!

• The New York Times: The Wild World Inside Your Gut (gift link) by Alice Callahan 

  • This article features experts in nutrition and gastroenterology answering the top 15 questions people had about their gut. It covers a ton of interesting aspects of gut health, and I really learned a lot!

• The Cut: How Much Would You Pay for Peace of Mind? by Sangeeta Singh-Kurtz

  • If you follow celebrities like Kim Kardashian or The Real Housewives, you’ve probably seen posts about Prenuvo pop up in your feed. This new company offers comprehensive MRI scans and claims to be able to detect hundreds of cancers and diseases. This article examines Prenuvo and explores the idea of whether these tests are truly beneficial or if they might just create more problems than they solve.

Featuring someone I’m obsessed with (talking about what they’re obsessed with).

One of my all-time favorite newsletters is

This Needs Hot Sauce

, so I’m over the moon to feature Abigail and her recommendations! 

Abigail Koffler

is the Brooklyn-based founder of

This Needs Hot Sauce

, a food newsletter and community that recently turned six years old. She works as a publicist for food & lifestyle brands, reads a lot, and spends her free time cooking with friends and loved ones, rewatching Sex and the City, and browsing grocery stores. If you’re looking for even more recommendations, I highly recommend you check out her 2023 gift guide, which has more than 50 thoughtful gifts for the people in your life! There might even be something I recommended on this list. 👀

Now onto Abigail’s suggestions!

Korean and Japanese Sunscreen:

I am very fair and have a family history of skin cancer so in addition to getting regular checks at the dermatologist, I am dedicated to daily sunscreen. In 2021, I made the switch to Korean and Japanese sunscreens, which use more advanced filters than the options we have in the US (we're very behind on this technology). They have a great texture, don't cause breakouts, don't leave a white cast even on melanated skin, and are affordable enough to use daily. I now order sunscreen from Stylevanna and it takes a while to ship but is legit (unlike the many fakes on Amazon). Here are two of my favorites and here's a great article explaining the issue more. 

Grossy Pelosi's vodka sauce:

Pasta is one of my favorite foods and I make it for dinner a lot. This vodka sauce recipe is a step up from my usual store-bought marinara or pesto. I started following Dan Pelosi aka @grossypelosi during lockdown and have watched his meteoric rise (he just published his first cookbook). His success is well deserved and his vodka sauce is a must. I've made it so many times and find the whisking meditative. Feeding my friends is a love language of mine and there's nothing better than making a big pot of sawce, sipping some wine, and having a little gossip and quality time. Also, for my lactose intolerant friends (raises hand), I substitute the heavy cream in the recipe for one can of full-fat coconut milk and it does not taste coconutty! It's a game-changer.

The Idea of You:

I'm a big reader (and library user) and I rarely reread books. The exception is The Idea of You. I read it for the first time in 2019 in under 24 hours and reread it regularly. The book, by Robinne Lee, follows a 39-year-old gallery owner who falls in love with a boy band member loosely based on Harry Styles. It's steamy, beautifully written, and very poignant about aging, celebrity, and how the world treats women. It has a cult following and I'm definitely a member. I will read anything Robinne writes and until her next book comes out, I'm always happy to reread this one. P.S. Pair your read with 1989 (Taylor's Version).

The Work You Do, The Person You Are: 

Toni Morrison published this essay in 2017 and I ripped it out of the New Yorker and hung it on my bedroom wall until I moved apartments in 2020. It was exactly what I needed to hear while working at a nonprofit job that was a terrible fit (and a terrible culture). I've had many jobs since then and am really happy in my current role. But the message of her essay rings true: maintaining your sense of identity and home outside of work is essential, in good and bad times. 

Things to try + share in the group chat.

• I was hanging out with a friend a few weeks ago and was obsessed with how good she smelled! I asked her what perfume she was wearing and discovered it was the popular Glossier You eau de parfum. Haven’t bought it for myself just yet, but it is definitely next on my list. 

• Have you seen those videos on TikTok where people hold up different colored fabrics to a person’s face to discover their ideal color palate? Because I have, and as a result, I’ve fallen deep into the rabbit hole of color analysis, color seasons, and subtypes. This article was really useful in helping me find my ideal color season and generally learning more about how seasonal color analysis works. 

Looking for more recommendations for the holiday gifting season? 

Check out my newest gift guide, which I divided into 5 categories – one for kids, one for foodies, one for cool sisters, and one for people who already seem to have everything! Check it out here!

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