Goodbye Instagram! (Issue #63)

This week’s theme is a reflection on our ever-evolving relationship with the internet and social media.

In case you missed it, my bonus P.S. issues are now monthly! This allows me to pack these issues with even more of the recommendations you love. Rather than every Monday, these issues now come out on the first Monday of each month and serve as a retrospective of everything I’ve been doing, reading, watching, and listening to. As a reminder, P.S. is a bonus issue exclusive to my paid subscribers, and I will continue my weekly Friday issues for all readers! You can read June’s P.S. here, and keep an eye out this coming Monday for July’s round-up!

Hi friends!

A few weeks ago,

Meghan Palmer

published a piece with a title that hooked me immediately — Lessons From A Year Off Instagram. It struck me as a huge achievement. While I wouldn’t necessarily call myself especially phone-addicted, I think there’s a level of internet dependence that almost all of us have in our modern world.

I’ve written a little about it before, but in the summer of 2020 I was kind of thrust into the micro-influencer Instagram spotlight. I’d been sharing posts about the Minneapolis uprising, and my thoughts and experiences living in the U.S. as an Afro-Latina woman. Almost before I knew it, I had tens of thousands of people looking to my account for guidance and learning. It wasn’t necessarily my original intention, and soon the pressure became too much. That account wasn’t my main job, and as I gradually posted less educational content and more about my normal life, I started to bleed followers. I felt this weird pressure to provide for an audience that only liked me for my swipe graphics, no matter how busy I was doing real things in the world. It felt yucky and transactional, and ultimately it all seemed so performative — quick hit posts about very serious topics for an always fickle audience of strangers. I wanted something deeper. A place to connect more fully and regularly. Thus, this newsletter was born. 

But enough about me. Meghan’s reflections on her year off Instagram really resonated with my hopes and fears about what my life would be like if I were to finally ditch the app. I really recommend reading the whole piece, but one of my favorite quotes was this:

“You can’t begin to comprehend the amount of space random people take up in your brain until you remove the slivers of their digitally shared life from your peripheral vision. You know that person you met at a group dinner once who followed you on Instagram and you didn’t want to be an asshole so you followed back? That fitness instructor you had a crush on a decade ago? That girl you have absolutely no recollection of ever meeting or following but whose life you know about in freakish detail? Without Instagram, they all cease to exist. “

Meghan describes having to remember to text her friends and family more frequent updates of her life, and had to ask them to remember to do the same. It all seemed to make her relationships deeper. Social media is a weird place and can make us feel like we’re closer to the people on our screens than we really are. Even people we actually know offline. I think, for a lot of us, social media can masquerade as “relationship maintenance” while falling short of true and deep connection. 

Meghan also touched on one of my biggest fears of giving up social media – the impact it would have on my career:

“I once went on a date with a director who, unbeknownst to me at the time, had directed a major motion picture. When I learned he wasn't on Instagram, a portal of possibility opened in my mind. You could be a successful, working creative and not be on Instagram? This was news to me. I imagine those new people I meet are equally confused when I say I'm a writer off Instagram.”

I don’t think giving up Instagram is a silver bullet, but I love thinking about the pros and cons of intentionally shifting away from such a key part of modern communication and connection towards something more slow and intentional. For today’s issue, we’re examining the internet and our relationships to this ever-evolving digital space.

A round-up of things to watch, read, and listen to as you head into the weekend.

• Netflix: Baby Reindeer

  • This “based on a true story” show is a thrilling miniseries about a man and his stalker. I don’t want to give too much away, but just know the story is really addicting, unsettling, and full of dark comedic moments. If somehow you missed the hype about this show, go check it out!

• Podcast: The King Road Killings

  • This podcast from ABC News follows the story of the University of Idaho students who were killed in their home and the exploitative media frenzy that followed. The podcast does a great job examining the ethics of the media coverage, from reporters not clearly identifying themselves, to internet “sleuths” violating the privacy of victims and their families. The show raises a lot of great questions about the ethics of true crime media and provides excellent insight into the exploitation related to this case. Highly recommend!

• Podcast: The Coco Berthman Story

  • This true crime podcast follows a shocking social media story with tons of twists and turns. Here’s the description: “Coco Berthmann became internet-famous by sharing her story of surviving sex trafficking as a young child growing up in Germany. She was sheltered and supported by families in Utah, where her faith and fame intertwined. But in 2022, Coco was arrested for raising money for a fake cancer diagnosis, and people began to doubt everything that she had ever said. Is her life story truly one big elaborate lie?”

A reflection + action for your week. Compete on your own or with friends – I dare ya!

• Truth: If you could go back in time and make sure one social media app was never invented, which one would you choose and why?

• Dare: Start a digital art project on Instagram. Including your name or posting anonymously, dedicate the account to one theme. There are lots of ways to go with this, but some ideas include:

  • A meme account based on a TV show or movie you love

  • A collection of pictures you take of one thing (your plant as it grows, sunsets you see, dogs in your neighborhood, etc.)

  • Collages of old photos juxtaposed with modern images

  • Etc!

Things to try + share in the group chat.

Note: Links preceded by an asterisk (*) are affiliate links that allow me to collect a small commission when you purchase something I’ve recommended. That said, I can promise I’ll only ever share items I love. Buying through these links is one way to support me and my small biz. ❤️

• I’m trying to replace more of my screen time with reading, and I’ve been using this video of books that caused readers to ugly cry as a source for many great recommendations. I’ve tried *If He Had Been with Me by Laura Nowlin and devoured it in just a few days. And as promised, it did indeed make me ugly cry.

• Speaking of books, *Real Americans by Rachel Khong is a new one on my radar. I first saw it in a window display at Barnes and Noble – it was such a beautiful book, and I had to hold it!! The premise looks good, and you can snag the beautiful Barnes and Noble exclusive version here.

• Tencel is one of my favorite fabrics for hot weather, so this shirt from Quince is at the top of my list as we ease our way into August.

Okay, now I challenge you to log off and enjoy the weekend! But keep your eyes peeled on Monday, because I’ll be back with my super special monthly issue full of my favorites from the past month <3

Until then…

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