Good Debater Syndrome (Issue #97)
A reflection on 10 years with Andrew <3
Hi friends!
Ten years ago today, I started dating one of my best friends.
It was a big moment when Andrew and I finally took that leap. Our lives were already pretty intertwined platonically, and officially crossing that line into romance felt risky. But we did it, and WOW am I glad we did.
In a lot of ways, though, our love story really started three years before the official “so… we’re dating now?” conversation. I was a Junior in high school at the time, just a few weeks out from my high school’s Sadie Hawkins-style dance, Jack of Hearts (JOH). In years past, I’d gone solo without a second thought, but this year, the pressure was on. Most of my friends had dates, and I knew I needed to find someone too – not necessarily the love of my life, but someone I liked enough to risk the mortifying teenage possibility of rejection.
“What about that funny kid from debate?” my friend suggested, brainstorming date options. She was talking about Andrew, a kid who went to a different high school in our district and was a grade below me. Our paths had first crossed a year earlier when he’d joined debate as a Freshman. I didn’t think much of him at first, outside of the fact that he was a baby debater far below my capabilities as a seasoned (read: Sophomore) debater. But over that first year and into the next, Andrew didn’t just keep doing debate, he got really good at it. A new term for you:
Good Debater Syndrome (Commonly known as G.D.S)
Noun
A condition, developed only in the presence of an exceptionally talented debater, which causes otherwise normal high schoolers to develop sneaky little crushes on 16-year-olds who spend their Saturdays in suits, passionately arguing about politics for shiny plastic trophies.
Ex: At first Celisia thought Andrew was just a silly kid on her debate team, but once she developed Good Debater Syndrome, her mind completely changed.
I don’t think I consciously knew I had a crush on Andrew, but when my friend suggested I ask him to the dance, I got excited. We were already friendly, and it seemed way less scary than any of my other options. And because I’ve always been a little extra, I developed the perfect way to ask him – a parody debate case.
The case? In full support of the newest debate topic – Resolved: You should go to JOH with me!
I wrote it just like a real, competitive debate case, complete with quotes from topic “experts” (aka my friends) and arguments ranging from logistics to feminism, including one that claimed, “going to JOH diminishes the domination of the patriarchy.” 💀
At a tournament, I slipped the case to a friend who passed it to Andrew while I hid (extremely normal and cool of me, obviously). When I finally emerged from hiding, hoping for both praise on my God-tier sense of humor and an enthusiastic “yes,” Andrew instead began...debating me. He earnestly pointed out how he would have structured the case differently in a real round.
Of course, we had an audience. A bunch of nosey speech kids who were expecting to witness a cinematic teenage moment instead got a nerdy meta-discussion about parody debate cases.
Finally, a kind soul hoping to free me from my own personal teenage hell, interjected, “Andrew, can you just tell her if you’re going to the dance with her??”
“Oh! Sure!” Andrew responded. 😂
For the first time in my life, I had a date to the dance!!! But like many critical events in high school, that excitement was soon replaced by the awkward reality of attending a school dance as two nerdy teenagers.
There is no better character-building!! Luckily, we survived the awkward night and emerged as “just friends.”
Fast forward to my Freshman year at the University of Minnesota. Not quite ready to let go of debate, I started coaching my former high school team right after graduation. Andrew and I hung out regularly, both at debate practice and on campus, since he was taking a few classes at the U through a program for high schoolers earning college credit. We’d bus together from campus to the suburbs for debate practice— trips that sparked a book’s worth of bus fiasco stories. There’s nothing quite as bonding as getting stranded together in the middle of a Minnesota winter. 🙃
The next summer, we tied our lives even closer by co-founding a debate camp designed to be intentionally affordable and accessible. By the time we actually started dating, we’d built so many things together — a friendship, multiple programs, countless wild memories— all of which have carried us through these last 10 years.
So here’s to another 10 years of Celisia and Andrew! Endlessly excited to keep building, growing, and changing with my very favorite debate nerd. 😘
A round-up of things to watch, read, and listen to as you head into the weekend.
Vogue: A 1970s Fashion History Lesson: Disco, Designer Denim, and the Liberated Woman by Lilah Ramzi
A fabulous look back at the fashion of the 1970s, complete with great history and fun pictures!
Minneapolis St Paul Magazine: Make the Gobbling Stop! Who's Responsible for the Wild Turkey Invasion in Minnesota? by Dara Moskowitz Grumdahl
A compelling tale of how wild turkeys in Minnesota went from nearly extinct to taking over the city! Yes, I have seen turkeys in downtown Minneapolis. :)
Book: *Early Morning Riser by Katherine Heiny
I was hooked by the reviews on the back, especially the ones that mentioned just how feel-good of a book this was. I really think we could all use a happy read these days!!!
Playlists to add to your music library.
I compiled a little collection of songs that have had meaning in my relationship with Andrew — from the early days of unrequited love all the way to our wedding and beyond. BUT, before you cast judgment, yes, Mac Miller’s Donald Trump is on here. It is a silly song we loved back when Trump was just a weirdo on reality TV. Unfortunately, it has a new meaning now, but I feel comfortable knowing that Mac Miller hated Donald Trump.
Things to try + share in the group chat.
I know how frustrating paywalls are! When possible, I’ll try to offer gift links through my subscriptions to support access to high-quality journalism.
Andrew plans to experiment more with homemade salsas this summer, and I found this recipe for Salsa Negra (Smoky Garlic and Walnut Salsa) (gift link) that I’m excited for us to try!!
I got this Flaus electric flosser starter kit after watching their pitch on Shark Tank, and I love it! It’s made my routine a lot easier, and I bought the extra attachment to hook it to my mirror for storage, which has been a great way to free up counter space!
Last week, I examined how purity testing has become the enemy of coalition building. Read all about it here:
I’ll see you back here on Monday for my monthly bonus issue, P.S.!
Until then, have a fabulous weekend!
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